I have a seven-year-old
Indigo son. I've been working as a teacher's aide in his classrooms
through preschool, kindergarten, and now first grade, and
I've observed his interactions with Indigos and non-Indigos
of all ages. It's been interesting! In fact, trying to put
it all down in writing has been a challenge because the children
do so many subtle things.
Indigos process
their emotions differently than non Indigos because they have
high self-esteem and strong integrity. They can read you like
an open book and quickly notice and neutralize any hidden
agendas or attempts to manipulate them, however subtly. In
fact, they can see your hidden agendas even if you can't!
They have inherently strong determination to work things through
for themselves and only want outside guidance if it's presented
to them with respect and within a format of true choice. They
prefer to work situations out for themselves.
They come in with
their intentions and gifts easily identifiable from birth.
They can suck up knowledge like a sponge, especially if they
like or are drawn to a subject, which makes them very advanced
in their areas of interest. Experiencing life helps them learn
best, so they create the experiences they need to help them
with their current problem or area where they need to grow.
They respond best when treated like a respected adult.
Not only are they
masters at intuitively picking up on hidden agendas or motives,
but they are equally masterful at turning those agendas back
onto the people using them, especially their parents. Psychological
"button pushing" often causes them to be labeled as nonconformists.
If they notice that there is a hidden motive behind your attempt
to get them to do something, they will resist strongly and
feel perfectly justified in doing so. From their point of
view, if you're not doing your work in the relationship, they
can challenge you on it.
When I called
them good "button pushers" what I really meant is that they're
working with us adults to help us recognize where we are holding
and using old, subtle patterns to manipulate them, which used
to work but will no longer. So if you are constantly getting
resistance from an Indigo, check yourself first. They may
be holding up a mirror for you, or be asking you, in a nonconformist
way, for help in finding new boundaries, fine-tuning their
own skills or talents, or going to the next level of growth.
Indigos have innate
healing abilities that are usually already active; however,
they may not know that they are using them! The most spectacular
thing I observed was how they formed groups, adjusting and
spacing themselves, especially around another child who might
have been sick or upset sitting and blending their energy
field with that child's. Most often, they paired up one on
one, but sometimes they formed groups and sat in either a
triangular or diamond-shaped pattern. It wasn't done in an
obvious way, but very subtly. When finished, they were off
to something else.
It was amazing.
They just did it, but they didn't want to discuss it; in some
cases, they weren't even consciously aware of what they were
doing or why! It was so natural to them that if a child needed
something from the Indigos, they just went and sat next to
them for a while, not even necessarily talking, and then they
separated.
Another interesting
thing was that, off and on throughout the year, the Indigos
went through periods of attracting and repelling each other,
or periods of really needing each other's company and then
of not needing it. I'm not totally clear on this, but
it seems to coincide with individual personal development.
The closeness and concern they had for each other was never
lost during those periods of separation, but they wouldn't
go back together, either, until all was right for them.
I'll give you
one little story regarding my Indigo son. Let me give you
the background: My husband and his family are Chinese Americans,
and I am of German/Finnish heritage.
My husband's family places great emphasis on education, and
the siblings were brought up with a strong need to succeed.
This still sometimes spills over onto their children, in the
form of whose are better, smarter, and faster. My husband
and I agree about not participating in all this competitiveness,
but that doesn't stop it from happening around us. To top
it off, consider that out of the five grandchildren, my son
is the only boy that is, the only male heir
and I think you'll get a pretty clear picture of the undercurrents.
We were at my
in-laws' house on Christmas day, and my son, who was almost
four years old at the time, was showing off his Millennium
Falcon (a Star Wars toy that was meant for a six-year-old)
that he had received from us that morning. It was the giant
one that opens up, and inside were all kinds of little compartments,
similarly but not identically shaped. He wasn't interested
in that portion of the toy at that time. He was only interested
in pretending to fly it and shoot the rockets living out
his fantasies. One of his uncles asked to play with it and
proceeded to take all the little doors off of all the compartments.
He handed them to my son in a pile and asked, "Can you put
this back together?"
It was a setup!
All the doors were the same color, and the differences in
shape and size were very subtle. Oh, and the tone of voice
he used like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. This uncle
has three daughters and a whole lot of personal agendas, so
his actions were not a total surprise, but . . . I absolutely
love what happened next.
I started to intervene,
and my son turned and looked me, dead in the eye, with a look
on his face I'll never forget. He looked at me to see what
I was going to do, and in the instant that it took for him
to read my intentions, which were of Mommy Lioness I'm
not going to let this happen to my son he responded
just as quickly. He gave me a look that said, Back off,
Mom, I'm taking this one on myself, and I felt the energy
shift as he took command of the entire room. Everyone stopped
talking and turned to look over at him. He calmly said to
his uncle, "I don't know. I've never done that before; let
me see." Then he proceeded to put that thing back together
quickly and accurately!
When he was done,
the energy shifted again, and he looked over at me as if to
ask, "Was that okay?" I just smiled and said, "Good job."
Everyone there caught the double meaning, including his uncle,
who has never since done anything like that to my son or to
anyone else's child in our presence.
No direct comments
were made that night about the situation. We all just knew
that we were each going to process it individually and privately,
each getting our own lesson all because this little one
decided to learn for himself.
Indigos are born
masters each and every one! We have to understand that they
fully expect every one of us to do what they are doing naturally,
and if we don't, they keep pushing our buttons until we get
it right that is, until we become the masters of our own
lives. So when my son did his thing, he taught everyone there
a quiet lesson, including himself.
For me, the lesson
was, let him go; despite his age, he is capable. Stay aware
and watch the process. The process in this case was very
interesting. He quickly and accurately sized up the situation,
and determined his response based on what he wanted to experience.
After making sure he had backup, he chose to confront the
person directly, and at that point, he immediately called
up all the energies necessary to complete the task. Afterward,
he released it all back just as quickly and went back to his
own business.
I've witnessed
many similar situations that he or other Indigos handled in
the same way. They will size up a situation and then choose
their actions based on what they want to experience at the
time. The only adjustments to this pattern that I've seen
were based on what type of backup they had. In a safe environment,
they have consistently used this pattern.
Safety is very
important, because all children need to feel safe to fully
explore their universe. For Indigos, safety means that it's
okay to do things differently! Giving everyone this space
is the best thing we can do for children and for ourselves.
This article
was excerpted with permission from "The Indigo Children" by
Lee Carroll and Jan Tober, published by Hay House, www.hayhouse.com
Info/Order this book.
